A reader, known as "Grandma Wars," is frustrated with her mother-in-law's constant competition with her own mother for attention and gifts for her children. The mother-in-law is generous and giving but also needy, competitive, and selfish, always trying to outdo the other grandparents. The reader lives in the same town as both sets of grandparents, making the situation more challenging. She wants to put an end to this rivalry without stooping to her mother-in-law's level.
Sally suggests supporting the mother-in-law in her role and emphasizing her interactions with the kids over gifts. She also proposes that the two grandmothers could work together on a project to ease the situation. Wished I'd Moved advises confronting the mother-in-law about her behavior and setting boundaries. MamaSita recommends that the reader's partner talk to their mother about her toxic behavior and possibly limiting her access to the kids if she doesn't change. Grandkid shares a personal experience with a similar grandmother and suggests letting her continue her complaining while focusing on the positive relationship with the other grandmother.
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