‘Bird theory’: The latest relationship test going viral on TikTok

Viral relationship tests, like the recently resurfaced "bird theory," prompt discussions about romantic unions. The bird theory suggests observing a partner's reaction to a mundane comment, such as pointing out a bird. A positive, enthusiastic, or curious response indicates emotional investment and suggests the partner is a good match. Conversely, indifference, dismissal, or frustration signals potential relationship trouble. This theory gained significant traction on platforms like TikTok and Instagram after a viral video showcased a partner's lack of engagement. However, the bird theory is not mere online pseudoscience; it is rooted in the research of psychologist John Gottman. Gottman calls these attempts at connection "bids," which are fundamental to emotional communication in relationships. His studies demonstrate that how partners respond to these bids—by "turning towards" or "turning away"—predicts relationship success. Bids can be as simple as a smile, a touch, a request for help, or even noting a bird. Gottman's research on newlyweds revealed that couples who consistently turned toward each other's bids were far more likely to remain together. Conversely, couples who frequently ignored these bids had a significantly higher divorce rate. While this "microtesting" can be informative, it should be approached with caution.