Stop coaching women to ‘lead like a man’

Sylvia, a senior partner, considered running for CEO and realized her gender would be a significant factor in the decision-making process. Many women are advised to emulate male leadership norms, but this often leads to penalties rather than success. The problem lies not with women needing to change, but with the definition of leadership itself, which still favors masculine traits. Organizations miss out on valuable leadership styles and emotional intelligence by adhering to these outdated norms. Two crucial shifts are necessary: stop encouraging women to lead like men, and expand the definition of strong leadership. The text outlines four problematic pieces of advice given to women and offers alternative, inclusive strategies for everyone. Firstly, instead of avoiding "weak language," which includes hedges and disclaimers, it should be reframed as "strategic language" to convey sensitivity and build trust. Secondly, rather than solely adopting authoritative decision-making, which can backfire as arrogance for women, a participative leadership style that invites input and builds consensus is more effective. Thirdly, while self-promotion is important, women are often penalized for it, so the focus should shift to sharing credit generously and spotlighting others' successes. Finally, the expectation for women to suppress emotion, while men are seen as passionate, is detrimental; instead, leadership should balance authenticity with discretion, allowing for vulnerability and passion when appropriate. Redefining leadership to embrace diverse styles, rather than expecting women to conform to masculine ideals, is essential for fostering inclusive and innovative organizations where all leaders can thrive.