Mark Manson

Mark Manson.net is a blog run by New York Times best-selling author Mark Manson. The site is focused on humorously and helpfully examining the human experience, discussing topics such as life philosophies, personal growth, and general advice. Mark Manson shares his own life stories, insights, and observations, making his blog a refreshing mix of humor, inspiration, and deep thoughts. It encourages readers to question the common narratives and assumptions of society, fostering a sense of self-awareness and personal growth. The blog also features podcasts and articles from guest writers, adding to its diverse offerings. Overall, the site provides a unique perspective on how to live a fulfilling life, emphasizing both the importance of introspection and honest self-discussion.

Thread Of Notes

4 Simple Steps to Change Your Life

If you want to change your life—like really, seriously, no bullshit, actually change your life—do this: Step 1: Write down everything you care about. Step 2: Arrange the list from most important to least important. Step 3: Cross out everything but the top 3 things. Step 4: Re-organize everything you do around those three things. People make this mistake of setting new goals every January 1st, but forget that goals are the path, not the destination. Your real destination is your purpose. Your goals just inform that purpose. “Cool, Mark. Now WTF does that actually mean?” For example: My goals change every year. But my purpose hasn’t budged over the last decade. I want to improve the quality and resources for personal growth and development to help move humanity forward. So every year, I set new goals to further that purpose. Some years, it was writing books. Other years, it was creating communities. In 2025, it was building the Purpose App, and in 2026, it will be getting Purpose into the hands of anyone who wants to improve their lives. The methods evolve. The mission doesn't. Define your values, clarify what matters, and remove every single fucking obstacle that saps your …

I Chose This Over $5 Million

In 2023, my publisher offered me $5 million to write my next book. I said no. From 2016 to 2022, I was in full-blown author mode. Writing, touring, promoting. It felt like one never-ending deadline—and by the end of it, I was completely burnt out. By 2022, I felt drawn back to entrepreneurship. The creator space had changed dramatically. AI was emerging. Everything was moving fast—and writing a book all of a sudden felt like the slowest, least relevant thing I could do. The problem was, I was still on the hook for another book. A big one. With a massive payday. I had an impossible decision to make: Turn down the money and work on what I want? Or take the money and spend the next year or two cashing the checks? My agent warned me: “If you don't write this book, there’s a very good chance they’ll cancel the contract. You’ll lose the $5 million. And you’ll have to return the $1.25 million they already paid you.” Let me tell you: It does not feel good to give $1.25 million back to somebody after they’ve given it to you. But I knew the book wasn’t the move. By this …

Purpose, the Untold Story

On a random night last January, I sat down next to a guy at a poker table. A month later, we decided to start a company together. Little did I know, it would completely change my life. The guy’s name was Raj. We started talking between hands, and Raj asked what I was working on. “I've been trying to solve this scaling problem in personal growth,” I told him. “I was about to buy an AI company to do it, but the deal just fell through.” “That's funny,” Raj said. “I've been building AI companies for ten years. Just exited my last one. I’ve spent a year on sabbatical figuring out what's next.” I asked him what he landed on. “Whatever I build next has to be in AI and mental health. Or AI and personal growth. I want to work on something that actually helps people at scale.” I don’t believe in all that “the universe has a plan for you” crap, but this was like… whoa. Raj and I kept talking. Over the next few weeks, we'd meet for what we thought would be one-hour lunches. Every time, we'd look up and it would be 4:30 in the afternoon. …

The Problem With AI Life Coaching—and My Solution

This year has been one of the most important, yet challenging years of my life. And as we’ll see, that might not be a coincidence. As you probably know, I’ve been calling out some of the shady dealings and worst practices of the self-help industry for my entire career. Whether it’s slimy sales tactics, unrealistic and unscientific advice, or promising results that simply aren’t possible, I’ve dedicated much of my adult life to “cleaning up” this space as much as possible. You could even say that I have come to see this as my purpose, my calling in life. About a year ago, a number of people I know started asking me about using ChatGPT as a therapist or life coach. Turns out, millions of people were doing this. I was intrigued, so I tried it out. The results were… mixed. Very mixed. On the one hand, AI has access to all of the known psychological research, is trained on thousands of hours of clinical transcripts and possesses pretty much all of human knowledge within it. On the other hand, it often has no clue how to use it. ChatGPT, in particular, seemed to just want to validate me, tell me …

How to Conquer Your Biggest Fear

Conquering fears requires implementing five proven tactics: exposure therapy, gradual desensitization, cognitive reframing, creating a positive environment, and employing relaxation techniques. Exposure therapy involves gradually exposing oneself to the feared object or situation, starting with small doses and gradually increasing intensity. Cognitive reframing entails challenging negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones. Creating a positive environment involves surrounding oneself with supportive people and resources. Relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and meditation, can help reduce anxiety associated with the fear. Overcoming fears leads to increased confidence, resilience, and empowerment.

40 Life Lessons I Know at 40 (That I Wish I Knew at 20)

Today is my 40th birthday. When I turned 30 a decade ago, I wrote an article sharing life lessons to survive your 20s and crowd-sourced advice on how to excel in your 30s. And apparently you guys loved it. So, here's more of the good stuff: 40 life lessons I now know at 40 that I wish I knew at 20. Dig in. 1. Your relationship with others is a direct reflection of your relationship with yourself If you treat yourself poorly, then you will also unconsciously seek out and tolerate others who treat you poorly. If you treat yourself with dignity and respect, then you will only tolerate others who treat you with dignity and respect. Get right with yourself, get right with the world. 2. The only way to feel better about yourself is to do things worth feeling good about Respect is earned, not given. 3. The only failure is not trying The only rejection is not asking. The only mistake is not risking anything. Success and failure are fuzzy concepts that only exist in your mind before you do something. Not after. After the fact, everything will be a mixture of both. The only real …

33 Powerful Books That Might Change Your Life

"Atomic Habits" by James Clear emphasizes the transformative power of small, consistent changes over time. By creating an environment that makes behavioral change inevitable, we can achieve our goals. It's not about effort or ambition, but rather about building systems that support our desired habits. Changing our identities is crucial for habits to stick, as we become the type of person who naturally engages in those behaviors. "Deep Work" by Cal Newport advocates for focused, distraction-free work to enhance productivity and achieve meaningful results. "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg explains how habits are formed and how we can use this knowledge to shape our behaviors. "Quiet" by Susan Cain celebrates the strengths and contributions of introverts, challenging the misconception that extroversion is superior.

5 Life-Changing Levels of Not Giving a Fuck

Every day, hundreds of millions of people suffer from giving too many fucks. They spend their lives imprisoned by meaningless anxiety and unnecessary concerns. But it doesn't have to be that way. In this article, I'm going to walk you through the five levels of non-fuck-giving, each level demonstrating more non-fuckery than the last. You will learn step by step how to face your fears, how to stop worrying what other people think, and how to achieve the eternal bliss of a fuckless life. Strap in, it's time to stop giving fucks and start living. https://youtu.be/zhjuqTGMaAs?si=BBYLnwI07pU6C_HF Level 1: Embarrassment In psychology, there's something known as the Spotlight Effect. The Spotlight Effect says that we all tend to assume that people are paying far more attention to us than they actually are. Think back to the last time you got a terrible haircut. Chances are you walked around all day assuming that everybody was staring at that tragedy of a mop on your head. But the reality was most people didn't notice. And if they noticed, they sure didn't care. One of my favorite quotes ever comes from the author David Foster Wallace. He said: You will stop worrying so …

3 Hard Truths You Need to Hear

Uncomfortable Truth #1: Our beliefs are often flawed and will likely be proven wrong in the future. We should question our convictions and be open to changing our minds. Truth #2: Most people are not inherently evil but simply ignorant, including ourselves. We should apply Hanlon's Razor and attribute actions to stupidity rather than malice. Truth #3: We tend to overestimate our own importance and are often not as special as we think. Humility is a virtue we should strive for. Truth #4: Success is not about achieving some grand goal but rather about creating value for others and living a meaningful life. Truth #5: Happiness is not a permanent state but rather a fleeting emotion that we should appreciate when it arises. We should focus on creating a fulfilling life rather than chasing endless happiness. Truth #6: Relationships are complex and challenging. We should not idealize them and should be prepared for conflict and disappointment. Truth #7: Suffering is an inevitable part of life. We should accept it and learn from it rather than trying to avoid it. Truth #8: We should take responsibility for our own actions and choices, even when they are difficult. Blaming others or making excuses will only hold us back. Truth #9: We are all going to die, and it's okay to think about our mortality. Accepting our own finitude can help us live more meaningful lives. Truth #10: Life is inherently absurd and unpredictable. We should embrace the chaos and find meaning in the absurdity.

How to Be Successful in Life

To achieve extraordinary success, it's not about setting goals or eliminating distractions. The key lies in contrarianism: developing a unique idea, being correct about it, and executing it on a large scale. Successful individuals often disagree with the majority, take calculated risks, and execute their ideas with unwavering belief. The challenge is not in execution but in having a correct contrarian idea and the courage to pursue it. Mere execution without a strong foundation won't lead to significant success. History is replete with examples of groundbreaking achievements rooted in correct contrarianism, such as the Wright brothers' invention of the airplane and the development of the internet.

5 Ways to Get Rid of Anxiety

Anxiety is a common experience in today's world, and it can significantly impact our lives. The causes of anxiety are not always clear, but our reactions to it are crucial. This guide presents six strategies for managing anxiety: controlled breathing, positive self-talk, challenging negative thoughts, practicing relaxation techniques, and engaging in mindfulness. While these techniques can provide immediate relief, long-term management requires gradual changes in our reactions to anxiety-provoking situations. It's important to remember that managing anxiety is an ongoing process that requires patience and persistence.

Why We Do Things We Hate

Many people yearn for idealized identities that differ from their true selves. While these identities can be alluring, the reality of embodying them can be vastly different. The desire for these identities stems from a desire to fill a void or escape our current reality. However, the pursuit of these identities often involves challenges and sacrifices that may not align with our true nature. It's crucial to recognize the distinction between the idealized and the real, and to find a balance that allows for self-expression and authenticity. Surfing, for example, may be an appealing identity but requires hard work and challenges that may not align with our capabilities or preferences. The pursuit of idealized identities can lead to disappointment and a sense of inauthenticity. It's important to embrace our true selves and find ways to fulfill our needs and desires within the realm of our abilities and values.

14 of the Best Nonfiction Books You Should Read

1. "The Body Keeps the Score" examines the profound impact of trauma on the mind, body, and daily life, providing guidance on coping mechanisms. 2. "The Paradox of Choice" argues that excessive options can lead to dissatisfaction, advocating for simplification and limitations. 3. "The Blank Slate" debunks the notion of the mind as a clean slate, highlighting the significant role of genetics in shaping human characteristics. 4. "Getting the Love You Want" delves into relationship dynamics, exploring patterns and providing insights into fostering healthy and fulfilling connections. 5. "The Power of Habit" illuminates the science behind habit formation, offering strategies for breaking negative patterns and cultivating positive ones. 6. "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" outlines principles for personal and professional success, emphasizing proactive behavior and goal-setting. 7. "Thinking, Fast and Slow" explores the two distinct systems of thinking: intuitive and rational, and how they influence decision-making. 8. "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" celebrates the strengths and contributions of introverts, challenging societal biases. 9. "Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind" provides a comprehensive overview of human history, from our origins to the present day. 10. "The Happiness Project" documents one woman's year-long experiment in pursuing happiness, offering practical tips and insights. 11. "The Great Gatsby" explores themes of love, wealth, and the American Dream, delving into the complexities of human nature. 12. "1984" paints a chilling portrait of a dystopian society, warning against the dangers of totalitarianism and surveillance. 13. "The Catcher in the Rye" captures the angst and disillusionment of adolescence, resonating with readers of all ages. 14. "To Kill a Mockingbird" tackles issues of racism, prejudice, and moral courage, offering a timeless and impactful exploration of human nature.

Mark Manson’s 3 Rules for Life

Jordan Peterson's "12 Rules for Life" encourages individuals to establish their own guiding principles. Mark Manson proposes his own rules for life, emphasizing radical responsibility, embracing uncertainty, and seeking meaning in suffering. He advocates for personal growth through facing challenges, pursuing purpose, and maintaining a positive mindset. Manson acknowledges that life is often difficult but believes that by embracing responsibility and adopting a proactive approach, individuals can navigate its complexities and live fulfilling lives.