Newburyport, Massachusetts, is a historic coastal town known for its shipping and fishing heritage. The Museum of Old Newbury preserves the area's history within a grand Federal-style mansion. A notable artifact there is a striking painted wooden statue that seems to follow viewers with its eyes. This statue once belonged to Timothy Dexter, an eccentric and wealthy businessman from early American history. Dexter, born into poverty, rose to prominence through shrewd and unconventional business dealings. He famously bought depreciated Continental Dollars and profited when the US government honored its debt. Dexter also engaged in peculiar export ventures, selling items like bed warmers to the tropics and wool gloves to Russia. He even successfully exported stray cats for rodent control and hoarded whalebones. Society elites attempted to trick Dexter into financial ruin, but his seemingly illogical ventures often proved profitable. He was convinced to sell coal to Newcastle and goods to the East Indies, both succeeding due to unforeseen circumstances. Dexter decorated his estate ostentatiously and adopted the title "Lord Timothy Dexter," claiming to be the greatest philosopher of the Western World. His eccentricities included faking his own death and holding a mock funeral to observe attendance. He also published a poorly written book, "A Pickle for the Knowing Ones," criticizing various societal groups. While most of his outdoor sculptures were lost, the statue of William Pitt the Elder now stands as a conserved relic at the Museum of Old Newbury, alongside the captivating story of its peculiar former owner.